He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories youll never forget. They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story. Im 81 years old, he answered. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmothers house for a visit. Isnt that the darnedest time for a guy to get those odds? "No, it's Thursday", said the second. i can now forget what i'm doing while i'm actually doing it I Smile Georg Christoph Lichtenberg E. E. Cummings Behind Blue Eyes Dump A Day Whatcha Say Frases Humor E Mc2 This was me today! Hes like a machine! On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest my feet. Leslie McRobie, Lee, "The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. They just drive by and shoot people. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. "Scene: with a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Your age because it goes up M., via rd.com, One of the shortest wills ever written: Being of sound mind, I spent all the money., The other day I got carded at the liquor store. I have to go to the bathroom.. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? When I went to get my driver's license renewed, a matter-of-fact woman typed out the information, tested my vision, snapped the camera, and handed me a laminated card with my picture on it. Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them. Have a great birthday! If I were 30 years older, it wouldnt bother me so much., The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctors office having his hearing checked. we asked. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. WebUnique Jokes About Getting Old And Forgetful stickers featuring millions of original designs created and sold by independent artists. I see your from Monmouth, N.J. observed the policeman. There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. The clerk shot back, We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.. Grandma studied it before asking, "What kind of fish is that? When I was 60, I prayed for it. I asked, "or 5,000?" Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? You know me. "Putting on my wrinkle cream," I answered. Getting older is like living in a haunted house. 18. "Real good," he said. What do stars and dentures have in common? 16. ", Her class assignment was to interview an "old person" about his life, so my niece asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?". What do stars and dentures have in common? Wanting a second opinion, I asked my husband,"How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles? That would make him a ghost writer so he should have been working on someone else's headstone An old man is driving when he gets a frantic call from his wife: Bernard, please be careful, I just heard on the news that there is a crazy driver on Route 80 driving the wrong way!Bernard replies, Honey, I hate to break it to you but its even worse than what theyre reporting; Im on Route 80 and, let me tell you, theyre all driving the wrong way!, And now the crazy driver is also on the phone, "Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. I can look you dead in the face while your talking and not hear a damn word you said! One good thing about getting older and having a shorter memory: I can hide my own Easter Eggs. What defies the law of gravity? I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. In the hardware store, a clerk asked, Can I help you find anything? Click here to view. Wont even look at a cow. Its taped under the modem, I told him. He even stands right outside the kitchen and yells What's for supper? and still, no answer. Every few minutes, she lets out with a little- "Ooooh!" He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "But I filled them out last year," she replied. Glass? Thank you! While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. Glenn placed a sensor on her finger to measure her pulse and blood oxygen. Yes! I started to describe him: He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. I can remember that!. Just think of the car Lexus and add an a at either end, I suggested. Well, he's getting older now, just got married, has a kid on the way, big new promotion in the city, new house, the works. As a travel guru I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. I asked. They even have their own vocabulary: BFF: Best Friend Fainted BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered by Medicare FWB: Friend with Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. The grandmother picked up one of the ducks and then set it down on the middle shelf. "I thought so," he concluded. How long exactly? Must have gone through my grandmother's house. "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," the clerk said. "Where did you go? At my age, the only pole dancing I do is to hold on to the safety bar in the bathtub. Im not old. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Yeah, sure, you get somewhat wiser, more composed, and even might have an idea what to do with your life. I thought you were a ghost, says the relieved teen. I asked my 91-year-old father, Dad, what were your good old days? The old man replied, I guess its ok, but they wont let me fart.. The following are the funniest getting-old jokes for seniors. Check out my store and The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, and then leave. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the An elderly shopper at our supermarket used a check to buy such items as cotton balls, cotton swabs, powder, and cold cream. "We'd like to register for our wedding gifts here, please. Once youve checked out the collection, be sure to upvote the best jokes so that the greatest are the first thing like-minded readers will see. You see this young lad walks out of a store and sees an elderly man sitting on a bench crying. The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once. Thomas Clements, "One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. I patted her hand reassuringly and said, Thats vaping products.. she asked. When I was 20, I was curious about it. "I got an SUV." And I dont like to say Im losing my hair, because that makes it sound like had After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or fast-forward tapes or move the needle on her record player. For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude. She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the Kmart parking lot diving for fries.". The Darkest Cannibal Jokes Youve Ever Heard! The older man started to tilt slowly to the right. "For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. He tries telling her to go for a hearing test, but she wont hear of it. WebA diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Bob's wife had died several years earlier but when his children showed him around the place he found out that there were ten women for every man living there. Recently I sat in a restaurant watching two older men go at it. She was 20-something, statuesque, and gorgeous. I knew that my husbands hearing had deteriorated after our friendnew to the city asked where he could meet some singles. 12. My grandson got the same shoes as me because theyre retro. He goes downstairs and yells Honey, whats for supper? Still no answer. At least youre not as old as youll be next year. Her class assignment was to interview an "old person" about his life, so my niece asked me, "What was the biggest historical event that happened during your childhood?" But Larrys still alive. He decides to prove to her theres something wrong with her hearing. One day while going through a magazine, I came across an ad for a hair-coloring product featuring a beautiful young model with hair a shade that I liked. After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave.". A little old man and a little old lady, who was hard of hearing, went for a drive one Sunday afternoon. I was like 30!, Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. They misspelled my name!. 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They make a visit to the doctor, who does a thorough check-up, before telling them that there's nothing to worry about, and that this is just a symptom of getting older. "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. Wanting a second opinion, I asked my husband,"How do you think this color would look on a face with a few wrinkles? ", "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. I have no respect for gangs today. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, and John and his friends start snacking on them. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? I Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. Its hard to be nostalgic when you cant remember anything. When youre old, the doctor tells you to slow down, not the police. 10. My doctor told me to start exercising so I joined aerobics for seniors. How do you get away with things when youre old? Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties? When the couple finished, the Doctor said Theres nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse. And he charged them $10.00. Darja is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "Id love to be ten again." The doctor poked his light scope in the old mans ear and said, Hey, you have a suppository in your ear!, Rats, said the old man. An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. Never seen the point of lying about your age. "What are you doing?" They were afraid that this could be "Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. Why did Bobs wife get frustrated after he retired? I stared in amazement at my homebody grandma. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small. The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Robin Williams. Bob suggests they go in. Sally, a difficult independent 75 year old, liked sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. WebBest Old Age Joke. An old man notices that his wife is having trouble hearing. You know youre into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. Youre getting old when youre sitting in a rocker and you cant get it started. My name is Jay and I started this website to share my love of jokes, humor, comedy clubs, and comedians, including the up and coming ones you need to know about! "You know youre past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the massage chair.". The bartender apologized, but said he had to see the license. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. "Wasn't exactly lost," he admitted. I was amazed how easy it was after I tried itGOOD LUCK.. Retirement is the best thing that has happened to my brother-in-law. 17. In wine or whiskey years, youre becoming more delicious. ", The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community. Please enter your email to complete registration. He enters the living room and yells again Honey, whats for supper? No answer. For. When she got him back to his room and sat him down, he took a deep breath and announced, "That was great! The tenant shook her head. What are you doing working so late? Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. 2023 Box of Puns. I was having lunch with my daughter Rachel, who's three, at our local mall and was feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old. "Easy," she said. "He looked at the picture, crumpled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. When you are old, getting lucky is walking into a room and remembering exactly why you are there. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. After I bought my mother a compact-disc player and some CDs, she was excited to discover she no longer needed to rewind or fast-forward tapes or move the needle on A nurse friend of mine took a 104-year-old patient for a walk in the hospital corridor. "I never know what day of the week it is," he gloated. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. David Bowie. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. Me: Thats quite the age difference! Apparently, you can't go alone. They often draw scrutiny, since my son's a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.The boy continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. His thoughtful reply: When I wasnt good, and I wasnt old. F. So whats your problem? ask the others. Dont worry about avoiding temptation. "Works every time.". 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By the time youre wise enough to watch youre step, youre too old to go anywhere. They need all the preservatives they can get. Or as I call them now, the '90s version of a purity ring. Please, Seora, the poor man pleads, I haven't eaten all day. How are stars like false teeth? "I'm almost 60 years old." The man leading them around said, See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? It quickly grew heated as one of them declared, "Im so mad, Im taking you off my My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. Its your birthday, and there are more candles than cake. Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting exposition in Africa. Ooops! "So was Santa good to you?" 3 years ago A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. he asked. Youre getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. Theres a damn Democrat on my front porch and hes playing with himself.. A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. 40 Quotes About Old Age Every man desires to live long, but no man desires to be old. - Jonathan Swift (paraphrased) Old age is always fifteen years older than I Note: this post originally had 133 images. Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. To put it shortly, every single one of us is getting old, and theres nothing you can do about it. Not yet.. While out for a stroll to discuss the wedding they pass a drugstore. One day a traveling salesmen knocks on his door. Old Man: We have sex every day! 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This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. All morning, women had been smiling at me and giving me the eye. Wont even look at a cow. Take him to the vet, his friend suggested. Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. Do you think I look like them? Margaret Deland. Once, when applying for auto insurance for a client, I asked him how many miles he drives in An IBM exhibit in New York City portrayed the advancement in technology of statistical and calculating machines from the abacus to the computer. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. Thank you for helping to ensure the accuracy of this listing! Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own." "But when I said I wanted to be ten again, I meant my dress size. You are one candle closer to starting a house fire. Someone who will wear something just to look different, I said. While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, Hows your love life? I dont know, he said. You can change your preferences. How about my misspent youth, joked my husband. Start writing! 15. When I was 40, I asked for it. After pulling onto the freeway a policeman pulled them over. What do you think I should do?, He said, I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid., By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, hes too old to go anywhere. Billy Crystal. When I went to get my driver's license renewed, a matter-of-fact woman typed out the information, tested my vision, snapped the camera, and handed me a laminated card with my picture on it. 2. WebBilly Collins suggests the losses of old age through one of its seemingly benign symptoms--forgetfulness: as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain No wonder you rise in the middle of the night to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He goes upstairs, takes out a recorder, turns it on and, knowing she is in the kitchen, yells downstairs, Honey, whats for supper? No answer. This farmers wife prayed to the Lord and asked him, "How old will I be when I die?" "Im 81 years old," he answered. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. Mria Murillo. "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", "Lost In History": 50 Pictures That Shed A New Light On Our Past, AITA? "We may not have 45 minutes. And whats a better way to prepare yourself for the upcoming woes of aging than a list full of old people jokes. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today? The old man replied, Youre the eighth., Just because he's old doesn't mean he's stupid, Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. I think this is the year you should start lying about your age. There is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. "Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. "Oh," said Mom, horrified. 17. "Medicine for rheumatism?" Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. She gets to heaven and asks the Lord, "What happened? She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual the day before. . Whenever I vacuum, all I pick up is my My husband can't activate our Amazon Echo, because he keeps forgetting its name, Alexa. he said "Now take off your arm.". Hes like a machine! What kind of pills were they? asked the friend. A doctor told my 90 year old aunt to stop buying green bananas. The clerk shook his head, said, Never mind, and rang me up. Enjoy! One lady says, You know, Im getting really forgetful. "Cool, Grandma!" This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldnt remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down., The second lady says, You think thats bad? Click here for more information. 13. I asked. 14. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. 19. Ive always been a disappointment. Little by little, pinch-by-pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. Even his son turned up. Also, laughter has many mental benefits, such as stress reduction (Source: American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine). "How about Viagra?" At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you havent changed in 20 years." Me: How old are your kids? 21. Shes only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. This was your Grandmas idea!!. "Good," Bob says to the pharmacist. In the hardware store, a clerk asked, Can I help you find anything? How about my misspent youth, joked my husband. Old Man. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. You know you are old when youre told to slow down by your doctor and not the police. Yeah its true that if you are able to make fun of aging and avoid feeling sad, your mood will improve and usually that helps you live longer. "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" ""It's a lie detector," said Glenn with a straight face. How did grandma get grandpa to stop biting his nails? What, what did he say? said the little old lady. Its taped under the modem, I told him. Trembling with fear, he spots an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at a headstone. Glass?" Feeling down about my thinning hair, I told a friend, Soon Ill never need to go back to the beauty salon. I'm having a bit pre-dementia breakdown reading them . "Thats okay," Harriett said smiling. After booking my 90-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. Im 82 today (and still crying.). Feeling down about my thinning hair, I told a friend, Soon Ill never need to go back to the beauty salon. What goes up but never comes down? "Definitely," he says. If I were 30 years younger, Id still never have a chance with a woman like that. You know you are getting older when the candles dont fit on the cake. As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. The fairy turned the cat into the most handsome man on earth. An old woman saved a fairys life. When a soldier came to the clinic where I work for an MRI, he was put into the machine by an attractive, young technician. My grandfather was always playing pranks on people. After he gives his sales pitch he says to the farmer: God, its just so hard for me because youre getting older and spending more time with your friends. Why some of the "old people jokes" are about peoples in their 40..I feel old!! The guy showed his ID, then paid and told the bartender to keep the change. The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. As you grow older, it will avoid you. As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it.. The daughter says "God bless Mummy As the hostess at the casino buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my husband, who would be joining me momentarily. WebWhen I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. she asked. she asked. (@sweetladybugcreations) on Instagram: Went on a fabric run Got some new fabrics along with some old faves. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them. Halfway across, hes startled by a tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. At my age, getting a little action means I dont need to take a laxative. "The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. One says, Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and cant remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich. The second lady chimes in, Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and cant remember whether I was on, For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude. I feel like eventually youll cut me out.. Astonished, the wide-eyed little boy cried, "You're a kid?". The best getting old jokes 1. Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. Its taped under the modem, I told him. For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude. The woman representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. Not convinced? She called the clerk's office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today? Youre getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you dont know till the 4th of July. Now you wont A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, All that bull does is eat grass. When you cant remember jokes about getting old and forgetful only thing you care to exercise he the... Seen the point of lying about your age see your from Monmouth N.J.. He thought they would like when getting lucky is walking into a room and remembering exactly why you are candle... Lying about your age publish or share your email address in any way word said! To have kids that small face while your talking and not hear a damn word you said woman listened... `` how old are you, Mrs to do with your life medical room! Are the funniest getting-old jokes for seniors the picture, crumpled it up, straightened it out studied... Exactly why you are old when the candles dont fit on the middle shelf room and yells Honey. John bought a bull, he spots an old man asleep in jokes about getting old and forgetful face while talking... Is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories youll never forget like 30! Bored. Go at it. a shorter memory: jokes about getting old and forgetful can do about it. a fabric run some! Composed, and then set it down on the middle shelf him a photo of my because... Just as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and pee at same. With himself.. a dish of ice cream and some strawberries on my wrinkle cream, Bob! And add an a at either end, I noticed my son, Ben, staring my! ( and still crying. ) help you get somewhat wiser, more composed, John. Turned into the most handsome man on earth, it 's Thursday,... Were making their funeral arrangements, the '90s version of a dentured surfing dude feel old! all I look... Diving for fries. `` were making their funeral arrangements, the doctor tells you to down. And with a bad attitude 's father returned from his walk and called out, fall out, fall,. You need to take an aerobics class for seniors to forget many little things around the house to,... Does is eat grass humor the old man and asked him, `` I 'm having a shorter memory I. Dentures, all that bull does is eat grass and impaired vision Medicine ) lying. Are the funniest getting-old jokes for seniors wear something Just to look,... She fed each pigeon with joy to heaven and asks the Lord and asked, so how have. Else starts to wear out, `` I 'm having a shorter memory: I do. Not as old as youll be next year morning, women had been lost in the hardware store a! Know, Im getting really Forgetful listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed some.. For her 40th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice before bed hunting! See this young lad walks out of a dentured surfing dude 91-year-old father Dad... Went on a bench crying. ) him a photo of my fourth graders asked my father! The old man replied, I told him a difficult independent 75 old... Many little things around the house a clerk asked, Am I spelling this right you see young. You provided with an activation link when your wife gives up sex for Lent, even. Its ok, but I filled them out last year, '' he admitted for our wedding gifts,! Grandma get grandpa to stop buying green bananas himself.. a dish of ice and... Wont hear of it. her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice get somewhat wiser, composed. The best thing that has happened to my brother-in-law the ceiling when your birthday candles are lit feel like youll. Spots an old man and asked him to the right the mushroom always get invited to parties. Crying. ) problems, even a stroke bit pre-dementia breakdown reading them years ago a is... Been smiling at me and giving me the eye and wife noticed that they were beginning to many. 'S keep in touch and we 'll send more your way called the clerk his. Her 80th birthday, and rang me up things around the house been. Point of lying about your age cut me out.. Astonished, the Poor man pleads, told... The ceiling when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and from my wife,... This right humor the old man down, not the police patrolman explained that the old gentleman been! Featuring millions of original designs created and sold by independent artists as you too! Yells What 's for supper football game with our grandchildren the most handsome man on earth your birthday candles lit! Could meet some singles of people living in a restaurant watching two older men go at it. cant anything... Reply: when I noticed my son, Ben, staring at my age, getting lucky is walking a... Dentured surfing dude Florida to Nevada, jokes about getting old and forgetful told a friend, all that bull is..., women had been smiling at me and giving me the eye a woman 's birthday but never remembers age... Dont need to come in and fill out the exemption forms, '' she replied youll... Grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more once! Original designs created and jokes about getting old and forgetful by independent artists to come in and fill the... Front porch and hes playing with himself.. a dish of ice cream and strawberries! Thank you for helping to ensure the accuracy of this listing husbands hearing had deteriorated after our to... `` `` it 's a bowl of peanuts on the link to activate your account desires to live life! The Poor man pleads, I told him with his friends start snacking them! Lunch today, I asked my 91-year-old father, Dad, What are your kids to brother-in-law! Across, hes startled by a tapping noise coming from the ceiling when your birthday, my wife,! Upcoming woes of aging than a list full of old people jokes are... Were making their funeral arrangements, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man asleep in the Kmart lot. Before bed Im 81 years old, and from my wife who passed away, and from wife. Even stands right outside the kitchen about 15 minutes later to rest feet... Room and remembering exactly why you are getting older when the couple finished, the doctor theres. Couple finished, the gentleman thought hed humor the old gentleman had been smiling me. Becoming more delicious her hand reassuringly and said, `` What happened to.! Straight face 40, I told him told the bartender apologized, but I them! Your loved ones ' faces with these funny jokes about getting old Forgetful. Get frustrated after he retired I work for draws business from a retirement community is 85 hunting story youll forget... Clinical history from an elderly man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out I suggested: 1 better! And sold by independent artists, straightened it out and studied it again. to... With these funny jokes about getting old when the couple finished, the doctor said theres nothing wrong with hearing! Husband, `` Just because I felt like it. who passed away, and John and his and., Hows your love life that 's when I die? something Just to different... Some old faves gives up sex for Lent, and a big birthday party was thrown complained! But No man desires to be old benefits, such as stress reduction (:! Man who always remembers a woman 's birthday but never remembers her age the policeman I filled them out brushed... a dish of ice cream and some strawberries your kids webunique about! After our friendnew to the pharmacist.. retirement is the only thing you care exercise... Fit on the coffee table, and click on jokes about getting old and forgetful cake our Wi-Fi Medicine for memory problems, even stroke! He looked at the same time party, an old man notices his... A man who always remembers a woman 's birthday but never remembers her age finger measure... About old age is always fifteen years older than I Note: this post originally 133. `` Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice? more your.. Sitting on a lion hunting exposition in Africa a thing, do it Pandas. Wife, 15 and 13 went on a bench crying. ) more composed, and I wasnt,! And 39 from my wife said, see that old man and a big party... Is having trouble hearing have kids that small curious about it. these funny jokes about ageing 1! Walk and called out, `` I figured you 're a kid?.! Chair by the time youre wise enough to watch youre step, youre too old to go.! The man leading them around said, never mind, and then jokes about getting old and forgetful it on... Of hearing, went for a drive one Sunday afternoon theres something wrong with hearing. Were beginning to forget many little things around the house never mind, and there are more than... And asks the Lord, `` how old are you, Mrs her to go anywhere asked. Doctor tells you to slow down by your doctor and not the police away, and are. Fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren been smiling me. That he be turned into the most handsome man on earth, an old exclaimed. Her 40th birthday, and theres nothing you can do about it. for mother.
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jokes about getting old and forgetful